Not giving a ...

Today a friend of mine said that she wants to start a blog, as I have. She then told me she was scared of being judged on what she wrote and asked me how I do it. I had to think for a second and then realised, I have absolutely no idea.

I realised along time ago that people probably will judge me based on what I write on Facebook, on this Blog and what I say in real life... The thing is, I don't care.

None of my actions affect anyone but me. I know that at the end of the day I am a good mother, a moral person and someone worth knowing. I am not writing about cheating on my boyfriend or sleeping with my best friend's boyfriend. I don't steal or intentionally hurt anyone. I don't care about society's acceptance of men having one night stands and it's disapproval for women doing it. I don't care what people think of me because they don't know me.

The only thing that I do worry about getting judged on is my parents. I love my dad, do not get me wrong, but he has chosen to lead a life that is not overly law abiding. My mother chose the same life. I would hate people to think that because that's what I grew up with, that's what kind of person I am.

Writing that my parents went to jail in this blog was actually really hard for me. I am not proud of that at all. I WISH I had normal parents that had normal jobs and did normal things. Fuck, I'd even sacrifice normal for legal! But that's not them and they aren't me.

I am 22 and I have no criminal record. I've never lost a demerit point off my drivers licence. I don't do drugs or sell them. I have no intentions of selling body! (let's be honest, after having Roman, who would want to buy it!!?) I just want to be a normal, law abiding citizen. I want a tax paying job, I want a mortgage and a car loan. I don't want quick, easy money the way they did. I never want to risk leaving my kids. I am nothing like my mother and I will prove that at every opportunity I get.

So moral of the story, judge me all you want. Confidence is a wonderful thing. My children are my world and I am this person for them. Nothing is more important than them and never will be. And to anyone who thinks less of me for actually having the confidence to say what I am thinking, I can guarantee you've thought worse...