A typical day in the life of me...

• Woke up at 7:30ish
• Gave Roman boobie
• Checked Facebook
• Was out of milk so the boys had dry cereal
• Gave Roman boobie
• Had a shower and washed my hair
• Checked Facebook
• Took Hunter to school in trackpants and a hoodie
• Went grocery shopping and Roman ran away
• Came home, checked Facebook and then tried to have a nap
• Got a phone call from the best friend saying she needed to be picked up from Hospital
• Went pad and tampon shopping with best friend
• Got KFC for lunch
• Came home
• Checked Facebook
• Went and got Hunter from school
• Checked Facebook
• Roman climbed onto the dining table and peed
• Roman bit me
• Roman shoved that much toilet paper in the toilet, it filled to the rim and flooded
• Washed bed sheets because Roman got chocolate on them
• Made dinner
• Gave Roman boobie
• Hunter told me a wonderful story
• Roman took off his nappy and peed on the floor
• Roman pushed 2 DVDs into the DVD player and now it doesn't work
• Hunter cried because Roman hit him
• Hugged Hunter to show Roman it's not okay to bite
• Called mother in law
• Hunter fell asleep
• Kissed and hugged Roman and sung him 'open shut them'
• Gave Roman boobie until he fell asleep
• Wrote this blog entry

My life is just too exciting, I know...

I'm a princess...

My obsession with my bedroom has become a lot more intensified lately. I have had the same bedroom colour theme for about 4 years. Neutrals and browns. It had a very earthy feel. About a month ago, I decided I wanted to make a dramatic change to a princess room... I now have baby pink sheets, baby pink European pillow cases, white doona cover, pink candles, cherry blossom wall canvas pictures and soon plan to have "Princess Hollie" written in pink above my bed...

Now when I announced on Facebook that I would be changing over to a pink princess theme, a lot of people said that it would be weird if I got a boyfriend or more likely in my case, had a one night stand. (Not a huge fan of commitment)... In all honesty, how many guys do you think would be invited to my house, make it all the way up the hall way, see into my bedroom, realise it was pink and all of a sudden remember they had somewhere to be? I would think a guy would be more weirded out if I opened my bedroom door to reveal Hot Rods and Bundaberg Rum posters. I thought the pink theme was lovely.

So at 22 years old, I have decided to risk being rejected at my door way and I am going to soldier on with my pink princess room. But anyone who knows me, knows that when I do something, I don't cut corners. Since deciding to go pink, I have had to buy a new dressing gown that matches my sheets. I have had to buy a pink sheet for the spare mattress under my bed as you can see that. I have now found pyjamas that will match my theme and must replace all cushions and rugs. I wish I didn't care about these kinds of things but I am anal about furniture and colour schemes. All of my house furniture matches and each room has a colour scheme.

I am hoping to have my bedroom complete by next week and will upload photos when I do. I am so tired from spending hours a day looking at new linen and accessories online. I welcome the completion of my princess room and may even make a point to test out a certain theory...

Good night...

Thought I'd try something new... A short blog entry...

Going to bed now. I'm super tired and have once again started a heated debate on Facebook. I swear to god, I am not intentionally provocative. It just happens... Sometimes I think I would be so much better off without Facebook. Ah well, deal with it all tomorrow...

New life goal: roll with the punches...

Good night all...

xx

Love... Fact or Fiction?

So at 22 years old, I have 2 children, I've lived in several different cities and towns around Australia but I've never been in love. I would think that there is something wrong with picture. I am honestly beginning to wonder if it's me...

I have severe abandonment issues from my parents going to to jail when I was 9. I was moved around a lot in that time, living everywhere from a cousins to my grandmother's house to being sent to live with a complete stranger my mother had met in jail to be used as a tool to help her get parole. Although I was only 9 years old, I can honestly say that I never missed them and I never once cried about them being gone.

I think my mother plays a huge part in why I can't form relationships with people. I won't let myself fall in love or trust anyone because if my own parents couldn't honour their commitment to raise me and love me, then why would someone who has no obligation to me? It's gotten to a point where I believe I am not capable of loving someone on an intimate level. I am so well guarded from rejection and abandonment that I have managed to control my emotions and mentally block myself from any possibility of being abandoned.

My best friend sometimes makes me see this as a blessing and not a curse. I see her cry over so many guys. She gets crushed if they don't text her back in an hour. She falls hard and fast and doesn't care how crazy she looks. I don't want to be a love junkie like Sam, but I would like to know that I am capable of loving another human being that isn't related to me.

In saying that, I am so content with being single, it's ridiculous. This is merely a curiosity thing. I don't like being touched there for I don't miss cuddles. I don't like kissing because it's gross. I don't like compromising, AT ALL. I know how to change my own car tyre and I don't get scared at night. I would see no reason for me to be in a relationship and I can not understand how girls could possibly want to be in one! To feel so vulnerable and dependent. But I do wonder if I am capable of love. I have been friends with Sam for over 5 years. I don't even trust her enough to show her my legs or talk to her about my feelings. 5 fucking years and I can't do something that simple...

Most girls have this need to be in a relationship to feel loved and wanted. I don't have that need. Maybe if I was in some horrific accident and both of my hands were cut off, then I might feel the need! But as long as my hands are working fine, I'm more than happy to ride solo.

Just thinking I guess... Wondering what the hell is wrong with me...

The Best Friend... AKA SammieDee...

My best friend (Sam) and I have a very odd friendship. I am unsure how to explain it, but I'll try.

Sam accepts me as being moody, opinionated, bossy, lazy, temperamental, a little immature at times, overly private, emotionless, high maintenance and a little melodramatic.

I accept Sam being clingy, needy, emotional, desperate, fragile, selfish and thoughtless.

Because we accept each others' flaws, we are able to have a magical friendship. Well for 3 weeks out of every month. I get a little moody for the other week.

A mutual friend of ours once said "With Hollie you get Sam and with Sam you get Hollie"... It is so true. I can see us sitting next to each other at 80 years old. Sam would've never been married because she scared every boy she ever met by being clingy and emotional... I'll have never been married because when ever a boy liked me, I'd have run a mile due to being commitment phobic... We can't even be crazy cat ladies because I'm allergic to cats but we'll still be sitting next to each other at 80 talking about boys.

We have very different taste in men. I like my men with tattoos and bad attitudes. Sam likes her men romantic and soppy.

We live different lives. I have two kids and never get a break. I don't work and I am a terrible cleaner. Sam has one kid and is doing 50-50 custody. She works full time and almost breaks down when her house is a mess.

I am the funnier one, Sam is the better looking one. I drive a piece of shit Pulsar, Sam drives a brand new Yaris. I have to have all my house furniture perfect and matching, Sam doesn't care as long as it was free...

We are complete opposites yet we have a friendship that is so amazing. We have even slept with each others' cousins!

On Sam's birthday this year, Sam came around to my house and I felt her cervix. I thought it nothing to 'get all up in my best friends grill' to see if we felt the same. My mother in law says this is not normal.

I wish that I could attach a photo of Sam and I to this post, but as Sam knows, I HATE HATE HATE having my photo taken. Sam learnt this the hard way... She took a photo of me at her engagement party so I grabbed my kids, stormed out and drove away and didn't speak to her for 5 days. I do not deal well with having my photo taken!!! (I was a bridesmaid!)

I guess our friendship is something that only Sam and I get. We are great friends and I hope we always are...

P.S... Yesterday I got all of Roman's hair cut off...

BEFORE...

AFTER!!!

Ooops, we must have signed you up for direct debit...

The lack of quality in this blog can no longer be blamed on being tired. I slept very well last night, only waking to flick a giant crawling bug off my leg.

I thought I'd tell you about my children because throughout this blog, they are going to be mentioned a lot. Mainly, because I don't have a life outside my children. I haven't been out for almost 3 years. I have never left the youngest for more than a couple of hours. My life consists of being a mum and hanging out with other mums... So here is a little bit about my children, Hunter and Roman...

Hunter is the eldest at 5 and a half years old . He has white blonde hair and is incredibly intelligent. That isn't a bias mother's point of view either. Sometimes his intelligence amazes me to a point where I don't like hanging out with him because I feel like the dumber one of the duo. He is very emotional and likes to talk about his feelings. He loves the colour pink. He watches Dora the Explorer. He refers to himself as 'Big Brother' and is extremely protective of Roman. Hunter has always been a well behaved child. Never ran away from me at the shopping centre, never whinged. Always been the text book example of a perfect child behaviour wise. He is very affectionate and like to tell me he loves me and check on me when we are in different rooms "just to make sure I'm okay"... He is wonderful...

Roman is the baby in the family. He just turned two and his favourite word is no. He will cross his arms and stamp his feet when you ask him to do even the smallest things. He is very skinny and has quite dark golden hair. He is still breastfed and his life revolves around the boob. He plays with cars and trucks, punches people for no reason and will scream at you when you do something he doesn't like. Roman does love to give kisses and do knuckles... Like Hunter, he is very affectionate. He doesn't talk much but when I pretend to cry he runs over, strokes my face and kisses me. It's ridiculously cute! He is very animated and truly hilarious. Half of the time, Roman thinks he is a dog. He will get on all fours, bark and lick your face. He is wonderful...

I want my sons to grow into open minded adults. I want them to have no prejudices against sexual orientation, gender, race or anything else. This is my main goal in life.

The first example I have of this being true is when I sent Hunter to school with a pink bottle. (We couldn't find his so he used my drink bottle.) When Hunter got to school, a few of the other boys commented about how pink is a girls colour. Hunter proudly stood up and told them how there are no such thing as girl colours and boy colours and anybody can like what ever colour they want. He came home that day and asked if he could take my pink drink bottle to school again. I was so proud.

I would talk about my sons all day. They are my world. They are my everything. I love those boys xx

Please find enclosed your complimentary blog entry...

I have no idea how to start this so I will just tell you a little bit about me...

I am Hollie. I am 22 years old (but only for another 2 weeks). I live with my two children who have different fathers. I get Centrelink every Monday. I let myself go severely with my last pregnancy. I have a piece of shit car that needs a new muffler. I can't cook and hate cleaning. I have a lot of emotional baggage and I get told I am odd, a lot.

To answer your next question, yes, I do accept date offers via the comment box below...

I come from a typical Australian family. My dad was the president of a bikie gang and my mother was a prostitute.

I have no idea what I want to do with my life, only the prerequisites that must be met. They are as follows:

• Job must lead to mass financial gain
• Job must be indoors at all times
• Job must have sexy uniform/expected attire
• Job must not risk my life
• Job must not suppress my flawless personality

(I just wish I could pick a career and stick with it.)

My children are my world. A lot of people think having a baby at 16 ruins your life. It saved mine. I try to be an understanding, patient, fun mother at all times. I quite often fail. But for some reason, these wonderful, funny, amazing kids want to give me chance after chance. (Idiots.)

I don't really have a purpose for writing this blog. It's been a long day (I missed my afternoon nap) so I'm probably not in the best state of mind to be starting a blog so best be off to sleep. I am sorry this has been an anticlimax. Maybe my entry tomorrow will be more exciting...

Good night

xx

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